After a storm, a rainbow is a beautiful result of the dark and turbulent time. Having to go through the storm allows us to be even more appreciative of the beauty of the rainbow. Having a rainbow baby is very similar. After dealing with infertility and pregnancy loss, there is nothing more beautiful than a healthy pregnancy. Don’t feel bad though if it doesn’t always feel like the perfect picture that you had imagined.
While you’re going through the storm of infertility or pregnancy loss, stay positive and know that there is a purpose to your journey. Through my 6 year storm, there was nothing that I wanted more than to be pregnant. After waiting so long I thought the pregnancy would be amazing and that I would enjoy every minute of it. That hasn’t turned out to be the case. There have been ups and downs physically and emotionally throughout my pregnancy.
When I first found out that I was pregnant, my excitement was quickly interrupted by fear. A was afraid that this pregnancy would turn out like the rest and that it would soon come to an end. With every doctor visit, we prepared ourselves for bad news. Every doctor visit that showed everything going right eased our minds but only until we had to prepare for the next visit. After our 20 week ultrasound showing a healthy baby boy, we finally started to really relax. If you are feeling similar emotions, your not alone and it will get better.
Don’t feel bad if your pregnancy isn’t as enjoyable as you had imagined. During my first trimester I had morning sickness so bad that I was throwing up every day. The second trimester was a little easier but then getting into the third trimester things have become difficult again. At first I felt bad about not loving my pregnancy, but then I realized that I don’t have to love every part of pregnancy to love my child. I also realized that, especially with the morning sickness in the first trimester, the symptoms were a sign that things were moving along normally. Try to appreciate the symptoms as part of the process but don’t feel like you have to enjoy them.
After getting past my fear of attachment, I have been able to fall deeply in love with my baby boy. Once I was able to finally feel him moving around, it became even more real and the love and attachment grew even deeper. Even though it seems hard to imagine, I know that I will love him even more once he is born. I know that all of the struggles I went through to get to this point have made my bond with him even more special.
The support system that you relied on during the hard times will still be a great resource once you become pregnant with your miracle baby. Many of my family and friends who supported me thought my infertility and miscarriages have stepped up and supported me through the pregnancy at every stage. My biggest support of course has been my husband. We have made sure to keep an open dialogue about all of our fears and excitement along the way.
The Journey Is Worth It
Whether you are already pregnant with your rainbow baby or you are still in the middle of your storm, you may be experiencing a variety of emotions. You are not alone on this journey and there are people who can support you. Find people you can rely on in your personal life and look for people who have been through similar experiences and can relate to what you are currently experiencing. The prize at the end is worth everything so keep pushing through.