Why I’m Here
This has been a long time in the making and for many years now I have wanted to find a way to help people going through similar experiences to mine. My husband I dealt with infertility for 6 years. We went through IVF and also started working with an adoption agency. I finally became pregnant with our rainbow baby and I hope that my story can help you through your adventure through parenthood. I have tried to provide a variety of resources for you to help you along your journey as well.
My Journey Through Infertility
It all started when I was 20 years old and experienced my first pregnancy, closely followed by my first miscarriage. Because of the emotional strain from this experience, my first marriage failed only a few months later.
About 6 years ago I married an amazing man and we immediately started trying to conceive. After about 4 years of trying unsuccessfully using every fertility predictor and home remedy we could find, we reached out to professionals. After a series of tests, a diagnosis of PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome) with unexplained factors, and being presented with all of our treatment options, my husband and I decided that IVF would give us our best possibility of success.
We started the IVF process and ended up with 5 embryos. Round one we had high hopes and used 2 of our embryos but neither stuck. This was huge let down for us, but we waited a couple of months and then tried again. Round two we used two more embryos and SUCCESS! I was finally pregnant. We went in for our first ultrasound and got to see the baby’s heartbeat, even though it was still too small to actually hear. We went in for another appointment 2 weeks later, only to find out that the baby had stopped growing about a week prior and we had lost the pregnancy. We were devastated.
I couldn’t imagine going through that again so we decided to put IVF on hold and not use the last embryo. Instead we turned to adoption. We found an adoption agency that felt like the right fit for us and we dove head first into the extensive journey of home studies, profiles, and “Dear Birthmother” letters. We started getting our nursery ready so we would be prepared when the anticipated phone call finally came in, and for the first time in over 5 years my mind wasn’t constantly consumed with getting pregnant. We were finally able to relax and I started to focus more on things like my career, exercise, and enjoying time with my husband.
Being Pregnant with My Rainbow Baby
Before our home study was even finalized, we got the shock of our lives. I was pregnant again. We were scared out of minds that we would experience the same loss as before so we were hesitant to share the news with family and friends. We remained cautiously optimistic through the first trimester and we made it all the way through with a healthy baby boy.
Throughout my pregnancy I struggled with fear and anxiety. I felt like at any moment I would wake up from the dream that I was living in and it would all be gone.
Nothing along the way went like I had imagined it. I imagined that I would love being pregnant and every minute of it would be a beautiful experience. In reality, I had horrible morning sickness through the first trimester and almost as soon as that ended the back pain and fatigue set in. By the end of the third trimester I was willing to try almost anything to encourage my baby boy to make his big arrival.
My little boy wasn’t as eager to get out as I was to have him out and I ended up getting induced a few days after my due date. From there I learned quickly that all of the plans that I made would have to be flexible.
Parenthood at Last
My plan going into labor was to try to tough it out without an epidural. Luckily, after only a couple hours of labor (about an hour after my doctor broke my water), my husband convinced me to go ahead and ask for the epidural. I was in labor for about 15 and a half hours and had to push longer than expected because my stubborn little boy was turned facing my back.
At the very end of labor, my temperature spiked and so did the baby’s. This meant two days of IVs for both of us and an extra day in the hospital to make sure there was no infection.
When we finally got home the real fun started. From introducing him to our dogs to attempting to breastfeed, it has been quite a journey so far.